Pacifier

I have a God Child who is turning 3 soon and is addicted to a pacifier. I wanted to take the pacifier away from him but he kepts crying for hours and hours! I read in an article about a pacifier being one of the childs comfort and relaxation, Is it true?. I don't want him to turn 5 and still using pacifier. How can I make my God Child stop using a Pacifier?

[Alba]

I have a God Child who had the same issue with the pacifier. We tried to help her depend on it during the day for comfort. This was very difficult because when she was with her mother or grandmother they made an attempt but the minute she cried she would get it back. She was close to three years of age and when she started preschool the teacher made it clear that at school she would allow the pacifier in her cubby and will only allow her to use it during nap time. This made sense to me because pacifiers are sources of comfort and help soothe children to help them sleep. This was a turning point because all the caregivers involved in the care of this child agreed to help her use it only at nap time. We had not agreed on a plan before. The way we dealt with it was that whenever she asked for it or if she found it we would say OK you can have it but you have to be in bed with it because it's used when you go to sleep. Initially she would ask for it and would sit in bed but when she tried to get up we asked that she take the pacifier out and were firm about it. Within two weeks she was not asking for it anymore and eventually even forgot about it at nap time. My advice to you would be to set clear limits for when the pacifier is used and if your God Child needs comfort then allow her to use another object like a transitional item such as a small blanket or a stuffed animal etc.
Good luck and tell us about how it goes.
Alba

I have an 18 month old who I am slowly trying to ween off the pacifier and only allow it at nap and bedtime. In rare extreme situations outside that I have used it. I started a game with him of throwing the pacifier back in the crib / bed and it slowly became routine. Now in the morning and after nap when I get him, he either throws it back in or will hand it to me to toss back in. Recently he's been showing interest in having it more again so I've also started telling him that the pacifier is only for night-night or napping and if he wants it he needs to be in his crib / bed. While he doesn't understand fully yet because of his age, he is starting to understand when he's persistant about wanting it that he goes back in to his crib which he's not to fond of. I will some time try to distract him with a toy or go outside to play (weather permitting) which does help as well. This might be a starting point but in any case habits are always hard to break. Especially when it's a comfort habit.

if you are still having trouble this is what we did with our son when he was turning 3.....He was so attached to his pacifier that he had 3 (one for each hand and one for his mouth). He also wasn't allowed to use it in daycare, but as soon as I picked him up he would cry for it. It became obvious that it was more habit when he was with us because he didn't ask for it all day and was also not using it for naps at school. We were having a new baby and I knew that I wasn't going to be giving her one so I knew that I wanted to try to break him of it before she was born. His birthday was coming up and everytime he would ask for it we would talk about his party and what he wanted as his big present. The first night I figured would be the worst. We went up to bed and read a book and started to talk about his party and I layed with him until he fell asleep. It was easy. I thought why didn't I do that sooner. It wasn't until the 3rd night that he stayed up a little too late and ended up crying and screaming for his "bucky" for 3 hours until he finally cried himself to sleep. I knew if I would have given in he would always do it. I just stared at the cealing the whole time praying he would just fall asleep. After that he would ask about it and I would just change the subject and on about the 5th or 6th day he just forgot about it. I knew he would be 5 still using it if I didn't take it away. I have seen that. Now my daughter sucks her thumb and I will be asking for advice on how to break that, but I have to admit, it has been wonderful never having to go in her room in the middle of the night to find a binkie in the dark or to the store to buy an emergency one because it is lost. goodluck

My suggestion is to find another item that interest the child and try to see if you can give him the item that interest him when he starts to whin in place of his pacifier.

[Alba]

Children usually have transitional objects and pacifiers are one of them. I personally prefer a small blanket because if they still need it as they get older you can cut it into small pieces for your child to have in his or her pocket. Another important thing to remember is that when giving children items such as pacifiers they usually need boundaries with them. At a center I worked at we had the rule that you could only use your pacifier on your cot in the nap room and as children transitioned to the toddler room once they turned two we would have a goodbye from the pacifier at school because it could not go with them into the toddler room. This was very helpful and children usually respond better if they are given structure in the use of their items from the beginning.
Alba

[Rina F Gould]

Dear Alba

Recently, in one of your programs you showed an activity with a brown paper bag and a fairy to help toddlers let go of the pacifier
I would love to provide Julia my grand-daughter a positive experience letting go of her beloved pacifier

Julia and I have great fun doing some of your ideas
Thank you for your help
Rina F Gould

[Alba]

Hi Rina,
I think making a meaningful separation from such an important object is very important. Your granddaughter should know how long the separation is for and when she will be able to use it again, for example if you would like to encourage her to use it for bedtime then tell her it will live in her room in an appropriate place. Giving children the opportunity to say goodbye is very important and it helps them assimilate it easier.
Best wishes,
Alba